Today is father’s day. But my kids never call me father. They call me Dad. I love that word. Being a dad is one of the greatest joys of my life. It’s also one of the toughest roles of leadership I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Becoming a Dad

I remember the birth of my first son. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I cried with joy, as my wife and I gazed at our child for the very first time. But let’s give credit where credit is due. I couldn’t be a dad without my wife (and God's blessings). What she endured for 9 months, and then 8+ hours of labor is unfathomable. I couldn’t do it. I remember her experiencing contractions, and me writing down the times and duration. Helping her breath. She was the bravest thing in the world… and still is!

When we knew it was time for the birth, we jumped in the car in the middle of the night in the pouring rain and headed to the hospital. I had packed a video camera to capture the moment, but she made it clear a few ...

Greatest of All Time

That's an accolade that doesn't suffer from humility, does it?   How can one be humble and a GOAT?  Is it even possible?

If you look back at the GOATs of life, there are a few who you could lay claim as both GOAT and humble:  Think Mother Theresa, Jesus ,Chadwick Boseman, and Fred Rogers to name a few.  The question is, how did they pull it off?

It seems it can only pulled off if we are willing to go through the full progression -- all the phases - of leadership.

As I started thinking about those phases, and an interesting analogy came to life:

Mountain Top Experiences

If you hadn't noticed, mountain top experiences never start on top of the mountain. It starts in the valley -- from a state of humility. There is a whole progression of phases that happen that makes those experiences the Great of All Time.  If those phases are what create GOAT experiences, then maybe there are some parallel aspects to what makes GOAT leaders. Let me explain by pulling more of th...

A few years before the pandemic, I took a trip to London.  When I arrived at Heathrow Airport, I noticed a peculiar warning sign over the moving walk way that caught my attention.  It simply said, "Face direction of travel."

Immediately I considered the wisdom in its message.  Like a moving walking way, life is always progressing forward. For you and me, to get to where we are want to go, we have to face the direction of travel.  If we don't, we might not see what's coming.  We might bump into something unexpected, or we might miss something critical and life changing.  We might get derailed.

Derailed Alignment

To put this into context, let me share a story.  Years ago I was skiing in West Virginia as a chaperone on a youth group trip.  In the middle of the day I was on a green slope, traveling as fast as I could.  Now, I've skied most of my life.  Green runs to me are not a challenge, and this had been no exception. The run was gentle.  Almost flat.  Nothing to worry about. But, as...

There is a great scene early in the movie Remember the Titans where two teammates are in a huge disagreement. Gerry Bertier, the captain and star linebacker, who is white, is arguing one point with his teammate Julius Campbell, another talented linebacker, who happens to be black. Bertier is pressuring Julius to step up his game. 

Julius counters with a different perspective reflecting on the clear lack of hustle between whites and blacks on their team.  Because of the dysfunction, Julius openly wonders why he should care for anybody other than himself.  In response, Bertier tells Julius, "That's the worst attitude I have ever heard."  It's in that moment, you wonder if Julius is going to clock Bertier, but Julius responds candidly and calmly putting the pressure back on Bertier.  "Attitude Reflects Leadership, Captain."  Bertier is left standing there with no words. It's as if he got hit by a 2x4.

It turns out to be a powerful moment in the movie. A wake up call. At the next practic...

Let's face it.  Life comes at has hard.  How we handle those challenges reflects our character.  None of us are perfect though.  They are times in our life where we feel the  pressure.  We struggle. It's inevitable.

The good news is that there's a way around it.  There are some tricks of the trade that we can leverage to overcome the emotional hit -- at least minimize it.  I call it Emotional Retelligence.  It's about retelling - essentially hacking -- your emotional state realtime.  It's powerful! Here it is in a nutshell. 

#1 - Acknowledge the Emotion.   Admit what you're feeling.  Don't deny it.  Let's say you are planning a big event, and that sense of overwhelm just hits you hard.  In that moment, admit to yourself what you are feeling. It might be something like,

• "man, I'm feeling little anxious about this"
• "no lie, I'm worried about this won't go well"
• "I have no idea how I'm ever going to get this done." 

Being honest with how you feel opens up the opportunity to harn...

I need to make a confession. I am a recovering reluctant leader, and I'm doing everything I can to avoid a relapse. 

The problem started way back when. Probably when I was just old enough to notice classmates (maybe even my older brother and sister) discrediting my unique ideas or thoughts. You know, an idea that disrupted the norm. Like,  "What if we built a maze fort out of these cardboard boxes?” Or, “Want to help me build a wall of Legos to blockade mom and dad's room while they're sleeping?”

"No!"  My brother and sister didn’t like either one of those ideas from their little brother. Sometimes I struggled with my voice being heard. Being the youngest, you often feel overlooked and ignored. It's frustrating. I remember when I was six knowing exactly what to do to put the family door knocker on the door, but no one wanted to hear my suggestion.  I felt unheard and insignificant.

Eventually many of my imaginative ideas  would stay just with me. I got tired of sharing potential  “o...