Leadership carries a hidden danger: you’re going to be lied to. Not by people, but by thoughts and ideas that sound noble—even right. These lies slip in quietly, and if you don’t confront them, they will derail how you think, how you act, and how you lead.

Over the next 21 posts, I’m going to expose what I call the 21 Leadership Lies. Each one looks convincing on the surface, but underneath it’s a myth and a trap that holds leaders back. I’ve believed them myself—and they’ve cost me. But here’s the good news: when you uncover the lie and replace it with truth, you gain clarity, courage, and freedom to lead better.

This series isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about giving leaders clarity, courage, and conviction. If we can name the lies, we can confront them. And if we can confront them, we can replace them with truth. Truth builds competence, courage, compassion, and lasting impact.

Here’s the challenge: As you read each post, ask yourself: Which of these lies have I believed? How have they shaped me? And what new truth do I need to live out instead?

Let’s dive in with the first one.

Leadership Lie #1

 

One of the biggest lies in leadership is this: leaders must be liked by everyone.

It sounds harmless—even noble. Who doesn’t want to be liked? I want to be liked. But when leaders chase universal approval—what I call approval addiction—they sacrifice clarity, conviction, and courage. Instead of leading, they start pleasing.

This is especially tempting for those whose love language is words of affirmation—like me. But when approval becomes the focus, decisions lose clarity, vision weakens, and the mission drifts. In the end, people don’t need us to please them—they need us to lead them.

The truth is this: leadership is built on respect, not on being liked by all. Respect is earned through consistency, integrity, and conviction—not by trying to make everyone happy.

Every leader faces resistance. And every great leader has had their critics. Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Rosa Parks, Margaret Thatcher, Ronald Reagan, Nelson Mandela, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Tom Brady, and Caitlin Clark. Each of these leaders redefined their place in the arena—politics, civil rights, government, business, or sports. And they all had detractors.

What mattered wasn’t being liked by everyone. What mattered was standing firm in principle, leading with clarity, and showing courage when it counted. Their legacy wasn’t built on popularity—it was built on conviction.

Here’s the challenge: Stop chasing approval. Anchor yourself in principle. Choose respect over popularity. Remember, leadership is caught more than taught. Show yourself to be three things: competent, courageous, and compassionate (I unpack the 3Cs in my book Face the Mountain).

When you practice the 3Cs consistently, you’ll lead with greater confidence—and you’ll discover the right people rally around you, not because you pleased them, but because you led well.

Next up: Leadership Lie #2 – Leaders must always have a perfect plan.

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